Just a Dream
by saiyazonreborn
Summary: Companion piece to Thoughts on Honor which was actually written years ago. Bulma's thoughts on Vegeta's death in the Majin Buu saga. Characters slightly 00C.


**Just a Dream **

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any character affiliate. Warning characters may be slightly OOC.

"Where are my Trunks? And Vegeta?" I asked.

Ever since Vegeta's destructive display at the tournament I had been asking myself that question as well as a thousand others. Why did he do it? Vegeta wasn't like that anymore. He's a good man, a good husband, a good father. I spent years trying to prove that to the others and the world that my Vegeta was a good man, and he destroyed it all in one day… I could forgive him anything if I just knew why…

I knew that wherever Goku was Vegeta was usually right there too, trying to outdo him at every turn. So seeing my best friend standing here but not my husband had me wanting eagerly to know where he was so I listened….

_It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen  
All dressed in white  
Going to the church that night  
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat  
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue  
And when the church doors opened up wide  
She put her veil down  
Trying to hide the tears  
Oh she just couldn't believe it  
She heard trumpets from the military band  
And the flowers fell out of her hand_

"What I have to tell you isn't easy for me to say right now. Goten and Trunks are going to be alright, but…Gohan and Vegeta are dead."

Dead? I choked on my own breathe waiting for him to take it back…

"Majin Buu…destroyed them both."

In that moment my world shattered like it never had before. "Vegeta…" I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't it had to be a trick, a lie. My Vegeta…he would never…lose…he couldn't…leave me…but Goku doesn't lie… "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! VEGETA! NOOOOOOOOO!" I couldn't even hear Yamcha consoling me I just cried and screamed until I was hoarse, I couldn't breathe. My world narrowed to a point a point of searing blinding pain and anguish which I couldn't stop or control. Behind my weeping eye lids all I could see was his face. His handsome smirking face… I thought maybe there was a chance that what happened earlier might escalate and Vegeta could get hurt or need to be wished back, but the reality hurt so much more, more then I could ever believe. I can't even escape the pain by fainting like Chi Chi.

This is…this is what its like to have your heart ripped out. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

_Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream_

He's not coming back… The situation looks dire, I can tell, even Goku is worried, he never worries…

Now my son must face the same peril which destroyed my husband…it shouldn't be like this. It should never have been like this. When Trunks came from the future and told us Vegeta was lost then I took it for granted after we defeated Cell that Trunks would never have to go through that again. I never objected to letting Trunks train because I knew it was important to Vegeta, I never thought… after Cell….he'd need it…but there's always another…

I cringe and curl tighter into myself my tears still flowing but my cries ebbed by the loss of my voice. I can't see Trunks like this…I can't face him…Goku said he would tell him…but…but…

The worst feeling of all is that my Vegeta died alone no one to witness his heroic end…he…he…he would be furious…. I allow myself a chuckle at that. But then my mind drifts back to thoughts of my proud saiyan Prince…I have no doubt if Vegeta-sei still existed Vegeta would be given a royal military funeral a hero's send off like he deserves not a vague story pieced together by a few observers and a sentence to announce his passing.

I know…I know…I will cry…I will cry just as many tears as the whole of the saiyan race would cry for him. I will cry more, because he was so much more to me. After the Cell Games Vegeta spent a lot of time just sitting with me or lying with me holding me, speaking freer then he ever had before in a way I knew only I would ever hear. He said that having a family with me made up for being the last saiyan in the universe, he said "I should feel alone with Kakarot and the rest gone, but…I don't and its because…I have a son…and I have you." That time marked the beginning of an actual relationship for Vegeta and I not the on again off again passion we'd had when Trunks was conceived but a true deep rooted never ending love, passion, and respect that it has enabled both of us speechless many a time….

But…I mustn't think of that…if I do the tears will never stop…and I must be strong…strong for Trunks and strong for Vegeta, he would expect it of me. A great warrior needs a strong wife…and I will be that wife…_  
_  
_The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray  
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt  
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard  
Then they handed her a folded up flag  
And she held on to all she had left of him  
Oh, and what could have been  
And then the guns rang one last shot  
And it felt like a bullet in her heart_

I can hear him crying down the hall, Goten's wails louder but Trunks' pain none less. Perhaps even more, losing a father…

I cringe and bite my lip holding back more tears. I want to go to him to hold him tight and tell him what I so desperately want to be true, it's a dream…a dream…a bad dream. But I know that he has to train, the fate of the world rests in the hands of two small boys…saiyans but boys none the less. More than I want to console him I want to encourage him tell him that if he defeats Majin Buu his father can come back and this all can be just a bad dream….But that would breed false hope and put undue pressure on my son…

I have seen all to well what that kind of pressure can do…

Vegeta…

Everything comes back to him. When did he become my everything? I never wanted or needed a man so much as I need him, with Yamcha it was foolish whimsy that drew me to him and even then I felt I could do without him should I wish or should he want another.

But Vegeta….he promised me forever…and I believed him, ate it up like a woman starved.

I reach to my scarf and touch the hidden mark underneath at the top of my collar bone at the base of my neck. Most would call it a big hicky, but it is so much more. This hicky has been on my neck for 7 years. It's the saiyan symbol of mating; an everlasting sign of devotion and protection to one and only one person. No till death do us part, to souls that shall never part he said that no great distance physical or dimensional can change this.

I will always remember vividly the night he gave it to me. I asked him what it was and why it felt so good and he actually smiled and leaned over to touch it gently. "This is my mating mark. It marks you as mine and mine alone. The reason it feels good is because it allows me to feel what you feel and feel what I feel and I feel…good."

"So this is like saiyan marriage?" I asked curious staring up into his hypnotizing onyx eyes. "Love, honor, and protect till death do us part sort of thing?" I continued.

"No, not till death do us part. Our souls are now one and will go on forever, together."

"Forever?"

"Forever and a day."

How can I live without my soul?

_Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream_

As I tuck Trunks into bed I can hardly believe its only been a day since all of this began it seems like ages since this morning when we were all just going to the tournament…what was supposed to be an uneventful tournament….I shudder as my thoughts travel back over the day, I wish I could erase it from my mind.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn my head…and he's there… "Vegeta…"

"Come." He beckons me out of the room and before we shut the door we both let our eyes fall on Trunks's peaceful face once more just to be sure.

Once the door is closed Vegeta takes my hand and leads me to our room. It is the first time we have been alone since he returned to the lookout. He takes me in his arms and kisses me gently but with some much depth I feel tears start to flow down my cheeks I clutch onto him and feel every muscle scared that it could all fade away. Vegeta notices the tears on my chin and the urgency of my hands and he pulls back to stare into my eyes. "What's wrong?" He asks in a whisper.

"Vegeta…I…I…I THOUGHT I LOST YOU!" I groan out and begin to sob into his chest holding him tightly. I know he hates crying but I can't help it. I am so happy he's alive and yet still so terrified….

To my surprise he just hugged me closer and cooed softly to me before leaning back again to wipe the tears from my eyes and place light kisses all over my face. It was something romantic he only did alone with me behind closed doors something I'm sure he'd kill to keep secret. He really had changed so much since he arrived on Earth I liked to think that was as much my doing as Goku's.

"It's alright. It's alright." He soothed. "I won't leave you again I swear it."

"You'd better not." I ordered wiping my tears away and entwining my fingers with his.

He stared deeply into my eyes and whispered. "I did it all for you, you know?" I chuckled and leaned up on my toes kissing him thoroughly, "My hero." I pulled him tighter into a hug and we just held each other for a few moments before I moved my hand up his muscled chest and whispered. "Let me prove my love for you. I don't want to remember the pain only that I have you and that I'll never let you go."

He took my other hand and led me towards our bed whispering huskily in my ear. "It was just a dream, just a bad dream."

_Oh,  
Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
Oh, now I'll never know  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream_

Oh, this is just a dream  
Just a dream  
Yeah, Yeah


End file.
